Just Going For It

Just as this post title states, I am just going to start writing without knowing the outcome here. My blog posts have been a bit sparse and slow in coming, as my time has been more devoted to school and continuing to let go of barriers I have placed around my capacity for happiness.  Manifesting a happier, healthier life is always an interesting process.  Every time I run into a wall of resistance, I know it could take a good amount of detective work to figure out what this barrier is constructed of.  It can be upsetting at times. However, if I keep my intentions clear and I am willing to go through the emotions, my guidance will get me to my destination.  No matter what the actual goal or outcome is, this always leads to a deeper understanding of myself and a deeper capacity for love.

My latest detective work revolved around me allowing a wonderful, flexible, high-paying job I can perform from my new home. I was told by two highly developed psychic/energy healers that this will certainly come to pass.  In a spiritual card reading, I also pulled two cards for myself that confirmed this outcome. I have no doubt this manifestation will come into my life path soon.  It is also interesting to note that both the psychic/energy readings and my card reading brought to my attention that I need to give this desire over to God and stop overthinking things. In other words, let go of the paddles and go downstream, as Abraham Hicks so often says. I was only getting in my own way and causing myself more dis-ease and illness.

Another bit of guidance I received from the Abraham Hicks cards, was to tell a different story of my past. A book I  am currently reading called The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron, Ph. D., also suggests how to retell stories of upsetting events from your past. For example, instead of thinking I nearly failed out of my senior year in high school because I didn’t do my work and I missed a lot of school days, I could reframe it as I was really suffering through a massive amount of depression and personal pain, and my body and mind was experiencing sensory overload both from home and school. How could I expect to handle the pressures of my senior year when all my energy was going toward survival. After taking the initial blame away I could finally reframe it as, I did the best I could with the internal and external resources I had available at the time. Perhaps then it wasn’t all bad as I did accomplish a great deal despite my challenging circumstances and it really is alright. Everything I experience is essentially good because it leads me toward growth and self-discovery. My resulting capacity for love is huge! So really, I succeeded in my goal of developing myself as a spiritual teacher.

Through this current discovery process, the more I let go, the more I gain. I tend to be rigid in my routines and expectations for myself and need to remember there is no such thing as linear time, it is all happening at once in endless realities I am choosing at each instant of my existence. There is no need to worry. I can ALWAYS choose something better and it is NEVER too late.

At first thought, the idea of just going for it would suggest action, but the more I relearn the art of manifesting, the more I realize it is about relaxing into love and taking inspired action when it feels best to do so. And by that I mean, go about your day as you would blessing it with ease and harmony, and when you feel that delicious inkling to just do something you have been wanted to do or a sudden inspired impulse, by all means, do it! The outcome is usually joyful and exciting or just a feeling of satisfied relief. I picture it as turning around to face front, relaxing your death grip on your oars, and enjoying what is right in front of you while directing your boat with ease when necessary or when wanted. The first step though is always just relaxing. I also see myself as a child learning to float of my back, head back, arms out, belly slightly up, and just breath…that relaxes me just thinking of it.

“You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.” ~ Gandhi~

“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” ~ Tony Robbins~

Saying “Yes!” to my Gifts

Recently, I have become aware that I have certain gifts as a healer. We all have gifts to heal, but I was encouraged to develop a specific gift of energy work to bring healing and love to others.  I believe we all have what one would term “psychic” ability. It is our intuitive ability, our “gut” feeling about things. Or it is our ability to pray and speak to God/spirit/the universe/our higher selves.  Whatever it is labeled, it is a powerful innate force within every single person. All of the unseen energies of the world affect us greatly in our daily lives. The energy of gravity keeps us physically rooted to this planet earth. The energy of sound waves delights our ears with music, conversation, or noise. Light energy gives our eyes a symphony of colors and shapes that we interpret as we like. There is the energy that courses through our body from the miracle of cells, composed of atoms, composed of particles.  I have always been a very sensitive person to the energies I feel in a room, in which I reacted to by being shy as a child because I did not understand what was happening. Now I know I was picking up on all the energy of the people around me and I did not know how to interpret it all; it felt overwhelming and scary.

I developed many disorders as a teenager and young adult to cope with my sensitivity and created negative life experiences because of this misunderstanding. I just didn’t know this sensitivity was a gift!  As an adult, the more I learn of the energetic and spiritual realms, the happier I become. I now know, life is not about toil and struggle. It is not A=B=C.  Life is a dance, it can be fun to come up with new ways things can be accomplished and created, to take a break from routine, to delight in the unexpected.

I recently received my 2nd spiritual reading from a lovely psychic; whom I must say has changed my life since my soul led me discover her over a year ago at a spiritual expo.  As I sat down to listen to a mini lecture of what she does for her clients, she picked me for a free demonstration.  My intuition told me I would be selected for her demonstration and she proceeded to hand out cards with a number on them.  When she called my number I walked up to the chair in front of the audience.  She balanced my chakras, then whispered in my ear, ” Have you been looking for a job?”

I replied, “Yes.”

She then whispered, “Don’t worry. You will find one in about two months.”

I was stunned and excited. Two months later I was hired for my current full-time job.  As I began wanting more confirmation on my which way my life was headed, I scheduled a full reading with her about six months later. She confirmed things I never thought would happen to me.  These were good things, getting married, having children, having a successful career as a mural artist, and eventually a writer.  I wrote as fast as I could so I could recount all the exciting details to my mother when I returned home.  I learned who my spirit guides were and which angels were around me and even received a beautiful message from my grandmother, whom I had never met.  I left floating on a cloud and became transfixed by my exciting future ahead.  She left me with hope for my life that I had never experienced before.  I was terrified of repeating negative family patterns and now I stand confident to create the life of my dreams.  She also told me during that reading I would be moving into my own place again in May of the next year.  It is now March and I moving!  Needless to say I trust her readings. She is humble, accurate, and a very healing person to be around.

During my second reading, what impressed upon me the most was that I am a healer. I think it was because I always knew this from the time I was very young. In kindergarten, I had this strong desire to be like Jesus, selfless, kind, and a healer. When I was a bit older I wanted to be like Mother Theresa and Princess Diana. I also adored my grandfather, one of the most kind and selfless people I have ever known. Now I mean selfless in the sense that his ego rarely got in the way of his kindness.

So my lovely psychic friend suggested I try Reiki and told me I would be very good at this. She gave me a mini lesson and had me try it on her. It terrified and exhilarated me all at once. As I quieted my inner critic, I picked up on an energetic issue in her life. It was amazing. She also let me know I have a skill at psychometry, reading the energy of something I touch or hold. I tried that also as she thrust a ring she was wearing into my palm, and I accurately named the energy of the stone in her ring. She described images of me in a past life as a healer, mixing tinctures and handing them out to people.  She gave me the precious gift of confidence in an ability I already knew deep down in my soul, that I had. Now when I feel my hands buzzing, I can dig a little deeper for the message and trust  that I am meant to use this gift.

What gifts might you have that you are not allowing?

“Be assured that, at the right time, God will provide you with the right words to say and a boldness to say them that you never thought possible.” ~Dr. Bruce Wilkinson~

“Thriving is as natural as breathing itself.  By relaxing often and breathing deeply, your natural thriving is enhanced.” ~Abraham-Hicks~

Appreciation, Graciousness, and Dealing with Disappointment

I meant to write this post in November to coincide with Thanksgiving, but time got away from me and I have to admit self-doubt seeped in about having anything original or fresh to say about these topics.  It could have also been writing overload, with writing assignments due every week for my Humanities class.  Yes, I am back in school after some 13 years or so and loving it so far.  I want to manifest more time to for school so I can attend full-time and that goal is currently in the works.  I am extremely appreciative and grateful for this blessing.  I am studying creative writing and English and I now find myself having to stop and resist writing 10 pages on a 2 page assignment, where as before I went back to school, it was a struggle to get myself to sit down and write.  It is glorious and I love it!  What can I say, the timing was finally right or I was finally willing to open my heart to the joy of sharing my creative gifts.

This leads into my thought quandaries for this post.  What is appreciation?  Is it a feeling that you get when something good happens?  Or is seeing the value in each experience one goes through?  Of course, I grew up thinking that if something good happened that I had wanted or held valuable, I could be grateful for it and show appreciation.  But if something negative or hurtful happened it was a logical reason to show disappointment. But these seemingly natural reactions left me feeling as if my life was controlled by some outside force, rather than my own thoughts and intentions.  Growing up in the Catholic faith taught me many valuable things, such as forgiveness, kindness, morality, and selflessness. However, not until I started to explore the human psyche on my own did I begin to discover the inner workings of my mind and the power of my thoughts and intentions. Now I can not imagine not teaching my own children (another manifestation in the works for me) the tools to create the life they desire through the loving intentions of the mind and heart.

The more I learn about myself and how to continue to expand my consciousness through the study of my thought processes, the easier it is for me to get into that happy, lighthearted, and appreciative mindset.  And it is more than a mindset, it is a heart-centered way of being.  I can physically feel the vibrations coming from my heart when I am in this magical space.  Lately I have been learning more about the Science of Mind teachings of Earnest Holmes.  I found a lovely center, the Greater Philadelphia Center for Spiritual Living, that I now go to just about every Sunday.  It was not my initial intention to attend the service every Sunday and I told myself I would only go if I felt like it.  I did not want it to be an act of obligation, but a celebration of my joy for life.  At first I attended once or twice a month, but then I started to go 3 times a month, now I willingly get out of bed almost every Sunday morning to meet with amazing like-minded people who never fail to inspire me and set me up for a great week ahead.  The richness of spiritual knowledge I have gained from going there and hearing all of the different speakers is something I am definitely truly grateful for.  I feel as if my ability to appreciate where I am in my life keeps expanding.  I am a more gracious and happy person.  I am kinder, especially to myself.  I am using more of my intelligence because I have given myself that permission.  But one of the most valuable things I am grateful for thus far in my spiritual evolution is letting it be.  I let the people around me be who they are.  I appreciate their life path and their growth.  Things that make me uncomfortable I see more as a place where I wish to change and grow.  They are reflecting back to me where I still see myself as lacking in my life.

That brings me to my next, somewhat contradictory subject.  How do I, how do you deal with disappointment?  I must say, I used to be quite dramatic.  I laugh now when I think back to how much pain and suffering I caused myself because I thought that playing out the ultimate drama was the appropriate and suitable thing to do.  I can see it now, those many times that my life rivaled the Greek tragedies of antiquity.  I can laugh now because I am no longer in those spaces.  I did not know any better and dealt with my limited arsenal of mental tools to handle the many disappointments I faced as a child and a young adult.  Now, in my mid 30s, I can see it was a very good thing I did not marry young and have children, like I wanted.  What would I have taught them?  What would I have instilled in them to face the world?  They would have been as lost as I was; floundering in darkness with intermittent streams of hope allotted to me by caring people trying to help.  They would not have known from birth how powerful they are.  Well, they would have known, but I would have possibly helped them to unlearn this and become a functioning part of this world, sacrificing unnecessarily for happiness. So, all these things I thought were disappointments, were really not.  It was just my  (unknowingly at the time) way of building up my creations in my “vortex”, to use an Abraham term.  The less I struggle in my life, the better it becomes.  I now choose to flow from any disappointment into a better solution that is awaiting me.

Most recently I thought I had secured an apartment with a friend.  We had gone to see this newly renovated, adorable place, set back in a secluded area, right next to a trail that could take us miles in either direction.  It was perfect, or so we thought.  The landlord took back the offer he had given us after consulting with a “friend” on the terms of payment he had agreed upon.  The new amount he was asking for, was over our budget, but immediately we realized it was a blessing in disguise.  He was a new landlord and really did not know what he was doing as far as rental terms.  It would have been a risky endeavor for us both to deal with this nice, but nervous person.  I can say my disappointment only lasted a few days.  There was only a limited amount of self despair, of telling myself there was something wrong with me because I could not afford what this person asked, and thinking I would never get my own place again.  I had even told people at the Sunday spiritual service how easy it was to get my apartment and that is was meant to be.  It wasn’t and I am more that okay with that.

So, in my eyes, these three things create a beautiful cycle of emotional development that is important to the human existence.  Without some disappointment, how would we know how to truly appreciate when things do go wonderfully or be gracious for all of the uplifting people and circumstances in our lives.  Nothing is really bad, it just a sign for redirection.  A harmonious and abundant holiday season to all.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” ~ Oprah Winfrey~

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire~

I’m Dreaming…

What would it take for you to follow your dreams and push yourself into your happy space? Do you let the opinions of others sway what’s in your heart? I have let the many opinions of others affect my beliefs and choices over the years, but the power of the heart and the power of the spirit is unending and I continually come back to my senses. I find myself on the cusp of something and I do not want to stop.  I am finally taking this manifesting thing seriously, as in it is not just a distant concept or something I try to do once in a while.  This is the only way I can now live my life and I know that every day, every week that goes by, I improve my efforts, my beliefs, and my thought processes.  And of course at the center of all of that is my heart.  I realize my heart does not just keep my physical body alive, it is the life force and connector of all there is.  The energy of the heart is so intense, it can overcome any obstacle presented in all paths of life.

I have been listening to a few new teachers lately, Kryon (an angelic being channelled by Lee Carroll), Eckart Tolle, and Sonia Choquette.  They are all extremely unique and different, but the essence of these teachers’ words and all the teachers I have ever read or listened to is connecting to the heart.  Our heart is like our direct line to source, the higher self, the essence of the universe.  Now when I am afraid or feeling hurt or confused, I know exactly where to turn.  I find something to remind me of where I came from, or as Abraham says so often “get into the vortex and then…” So, I am diving on in, because what happens when I do is incredible! And sometimes I have to stay in that quiet place for quite some time to find myself again, but I always do.

So many people are awakening to the true nature of being human.  Dysfunction and suffering will always exist in the physical plane to a certain extent however, I see bright lights everywhere or maybe I am just more tuned into the people who are beacons of hope and personal power.

I see or sense this light all around me now, all the time.  It is in my cat who knew he was mine the second he stepped into my home.  It is in the sunshine and nature that surrounds me, bringing me peace and healing.  It is in paying off of dept and going back to school.  It is in the words of this blog as I stretch my muscles as a writer.  It is in the hundreds of YouTube videos offering free teaching and tools to help me live my life at a higher vibration. It is in an unexpected hug from my brother for washing the sink full of dishes after he made a delicious dinner.  And the best part of all of this is the more I learn and apply, the less drudgery I realize is needed to live the happy life of my dreams.  Simply focus on what gives you joy and ask for what you are wanting, and of course let go and let it in.

So, what is the point of this happy ranting?  I recently received and unexpected gift from the universe after I simply asked and did not negate that asking with doubts and reasons it would not work.  I saw a voice over job that I wanted to do, but did not know how I could with my work schedule.  Normally, I would wistfully ask and become awash in the seeping doubts as to why it wouldn’t work and why I did not deserve to have it.  This time I stopped and said, “I do not have to know how, simply what.”  The next day I was contacted by the casting company that listed the job and asked to do a print job ( not the voice over job, but just as good) paying the most money I had ever made on a gig, the equivalent to half a months pay at my full-time job. I had one floating holiday left for the year and I will be using it to do this job.  I was in shock, in a good way, the rest of the day. In the past I would have thought this blessing was a lucky occurance or it could only come from hard work. But I know it is the truth revealing itself when resistance is gone.

I have also been working on releasing my rigid concept of linear time. Knowing that time is actually round and full and rich with possibilities eases the pressure of having to know how my many dreams could possibly happen. It is like the blinders have been take off my eyes and I can see everywhere all at once and it is glorious.

“It’s okay to get in the muck of my human experiences and not doubt my divine goodness.” ~Sonia Choquette ~

“Nothing is more important than that I feel good…” ~ Abraham-Hicks~

Evolve or Die

This topic grabbed my attention a few weeks ago at a Science of Mind service.  The reverend was speaking candidly about how he came into his path of ministry.  I do not remember much of the details of his story, but at a critical point in his journey, he was told you either evolve into where your spirit is guiding you or you suffer from your resistance.  I found it both a funny and hard-hitting statement about the constant change of life and how we handle it.

The rather dramatic topic made me think of all the times in my life, which is more than I would like to admit, when I thought I knew better than my spirit about where I should be headed next.  Even as I write this, I am experiencing an interesting phenomenon.  Usually, once I have my topic, the energy of the words flows through me and onto the screen in a fairly free-flowing and cohesive manner. Today, I am distracted and feeling rather distant.  Maybe it is the rainy weather.  Maybe it is a bit of writing fatigue, as I have just started an English Composition course to continue my education.   Maybe I am now over thinking things as I write; worrying about grammar, punctuation, and style.  Whatever is happening here, I am just letting myself off the hook today. I am evolving, rather than struggling.

I fear perhaps in my life right now, I am not really listening to myself.  I still hesitate and struggle to go where I know my spirit is taking me.  I am stubborn to forgive and move forward with certain aspects of my life.  I hold harsh judgements of where I currently am.  Sometimes, when this happens, you can sense you are on the cusp of change.  So, I am letting this be an awkward and raw writing experience.  Perhaps I am not exploring spirituality today, so much as my own psyche.  I can feel where I want to go, but am not fully trusting of the way things will unfold.  This is past residue from other attempts I have made, when my belief system was such, that I fell back practically to where I started.

Evolving then, is rarely a smooth and easy experience.  It certainly can be, of course, but at certain points along the way you run into these giant brick walls that seem to go on for miles, with no foreseeable way to be scaled. This is where I think the world’s consciousness is currently at.  We are perhaps realizing physically overcoming the obstacles in front of us is not the answer, nor was it ever meant to be.  The point of life is NOT to struggle.  The point of life is to be happy.  The answer to our prayers is not half way across the world or the conclusion of a tumultuous task or journey, but it is the steady, calm knowing within. This does not mean hard work and effort are not meaningful, for when these things are done because you truly love to do them, it becomes a whole powerful energy unto itself.

Evolving can be done in big grand gestures, small graceful movements, or anywhere in between.  I tend to allow my personal evolution to come in smaller movements, as my analytical and observant nature requires more processing time.  However, I know that as I evolve those fears will dissipate, for I will be more centered and sure of the nonphysical mind that guides me and not afraid to take the occasional giant leap.

“Love is the energy from which all people and things are made. You are connected to everything in your world through love.” ~Brian L. Weiss, M.D.~

“Take a risk. You have the power to move mountains.” ~Cheryl Richardson~

What I thought I wanted is not what I wanted…

I thought I wanted a steady full time job with benefits, going to the same place every day, seeing the same people, doing the same thing. I wanted to have reliable pay, and spend less gas money; and since all Americans are required to have medical benefits now, why not? Well, I can say it is better than any of my previous run of the mill office positions I have had. I have great coworkers, a nice location, a good looking building, and I am actually noticed and acknowledged by the upper management and executives. I can’t really complain too much, plus the pay is decent. It really was the answer to my prayers, temporarily.

How is it that our desires and preferences change so frequently? How is it one morning we like ice cream, heavy metal, and feel like running 10 miles and the next morning we prefer classical music, fruit, and yoga? It’s been said that the only constant in life is change. Change is ever present, from birth to death, back to the spirit world and on we go. It is the “thing” from which we evolve. The only constant is the very core of who we are, our God-center, our higher self, our universal consciousness. Bashar says there is no such thing as time. We are constantly choosing different realities, millions of times per second and that is what makes up our “time”. He likens it to a movie reel, where each still frame creates a moving picture, a story of our life.
I don’t mean to reach so far out to delve into my idea, but I guess it all comes down to our constant choices of reality. What is real for us? What do we want to be real for us? And how do we change it?

I often times get frustrated because being a deliberate creator seems like so much work, so much studying and learning. I moan and groan to myself, to others. I buy into other people’s realities that aren’t so great. But somehow I keep redetermining my power as a manifester.
The most important thing I have learned upon my journey in this lifetime is do not put any limits on the ways in which you can create what you want. Try as many techniques as makes you happy because each one builds upon the other even if they seem unrelated or conflicting.
So what do I really want? In the short term, to be a successful artist. In the long term, to never stop creating while developing the most peaceful world I can and to be happy of course!

Now is the time to take powerful, positive action!!! I do not regret getting this job because it has succinctly led me to this conclusion. The signs are becoming more obvious as to where I will be next and I am more than ready to delve into that journey. Instead of creating a problem out of my not so preferred current reality choices, I am building upon what is already here. Pretty soon, knowing I am wanting change will be a springboard to the next level of my existence.
My third eye is buzzing, my heart is fluttering, my body is yearning.
Happy manifesting!

“Listen to your heart. Once you find the beat, you will always walk in tune.” ~Anonymous~

“We are the power source of our own lives. We decide whether to turn ourselves on or off.” ~Michele Nelson~

Celebrate Your Wow Moments!!!

Taking time to celebrate your wow moments gives you complete freedom to be who you are as well as everyone else to be who they are.

This topic came to me after listening to Some Bashar videos.  Bashar is an entity channeled by Darryl Anka, similar to Abraham channeled by Esther Hicks, but more technical and scientific.  He delivers the same basic message of focusing your thoughts and feelings passionately on what you are wanting, but if you have ever wondered about the human concept of time and how our world is structured, he is excellent for fulfilling that curiosity.

 

This is something I have to remind myself of often, for if some amazing realization or accomplishment occurs and you do not “milk it” as Abraham says, the positive flowing energy can pass you by.  Mentally I understand the benefit of doing this, but it is challenging not to buy into the mainstream habit of celebrating your negative dramas.  Even when I am in the midst of this negative celebration, I try to get quiet and listen to find a gentle way to bring myself back into the positive celebrations.  I am currently in the midst of a negative celebration.  I have not been honoring my creative self or taking steps to further my creative career and the universe has been subtly reminding me of what my higher self is seeking.  This inner imbalance has manifested itself not only physically, which I decided to medicate by getting prescription pharmaceuticals and continue to ignore the inner guidance I am receiving, but now it is manifesting through a deeper unhappiness.  So after listening to Abraham this morning, I decided to follow one of their suggestions.  I wrote down what I want in my life as well as what I want to be doing.  This is what came about.

 

I want people I am in harmony with around me; meaning people who help me to be in alignment with source.  I want an atmosphere that is soothing and uplifting and joyful and freeing.  I want to be doing that which enlivens me and feels joyful and magical.  When I create something, it is exciting and fun and a reciprocal gift.  I want to find clarity about my desires.  I want to let go of the resistance.  I am feeling I want to take the shackles off that I have placed on myself to “fit in” and ‘be normal”.  I want to feel how source wants me to feel.  No restrictions, no pressure.  That newer, higher functioning, leading edge thought process.  I want to speak out in ways that others will understand and be myself.  I want to trust my desires and guidance that I receive.  I want to let go!

I am so tired of holding on; I want to let go of that slippery jagged rock, with the rushing, cold water hitting me and stinging me, making me cry and flail and doubt everything I am.  I want to turn my head and focus on the glimmer of light that I see up ahead.  I want to trust that if I let go and just let what  is unpleasant ride itself out, up ahead is the most beautiful, pleasant, fun, enlivening stream where I can relax and heal and reclaim my well-being.

Right now I am getting what I am fearing because I am turned away from source.  I am seeing darkness and believing lies, even if there are others who bring sparks of light  to those lies and they are beacons of hope, it is still an upstream focus.  However, upstream is not bad, it is only the unnatural direction to go.  So you are worn out, blinded, hungry, and lost, when all you have to do is turn around, let go, and open your being to the abundance that is there for you.  That is what I want, that is who I want to be.

I am free.  I am me.  No one can stop me from being me.

Dear heavenly father  and mother, the source of all that is, guide me and help me to hear that guidance, see with my true eyes and love with my true heart.

 

The more we can realize our  wow moments and what they have to teach, the clearer our guidance will become.  And the next step is to take the inspired action.  How do we know it is inspired?  Because your heart and head will sing in harmony.

 

“Kulia I Ka  Nu’u” (Strive for the highest peak) ~Hawaiian proverb~

 

“Be deeply and passionately truthful.  Friends will soon join you: For that which is deeply true for one person is so for everyone.” ~Auguste Rodin, French sculptor~