Just as this post title says, I am just going to start writing without knowing the outcome here. My blog posts have been a bit sparse and slow in coming, as my time has been more devoted to school and continuing to let go of barriers I have placed around my capacity for happiness. Manifesting a happier, healthier life is ALWAYS an interesting process. Every time I run into a wall of resistance to my spirits desires, I know it could take a good amount of detective work to figure out what this barrier is constructed of. It can be upsetting at times, but if I keep my intentions clear and I am willing to go through the emotions, my various sources of guidance will get me to my destination. No matter what the actual goal or outcome is, this always leads to a deeper understanding of myself and a deeper capacity for love.
My latest detective works has revolved around me allowing a wonderful, flexible, high-paying job I can perform from my new home. I was told by two separate highly developed psychic/energy healers that this will certainly come to pass. I also pulled fairy and Abraham cards for myself that also gave me the same reading, so I do not have any doubts this desire’s manifestation will come into my life path soon. It is also interesting to note that both my intuitive friends and my fairy card reading pointed out that I need to both give this desire up to God and stop overthinking things. In other words, let go of the paddles and go downstream, as Abraham so often says. I was only getting in my own way and causing myself more dis-ease and illness. Another thing I need to start doing, as suggested by the abraham cards, is to start telling a different story of my past. A book I am currently reading called The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron, Ph. D., also suggests how to retell stories of upsetting events from your past. For example, instead of saying I nearly failed out of my senior year in high school because I didn’t do my work and I missed a lot of school; I can say I was really suffering through a massive amount of depression and personal pain, and my body and mind was experiencing sensory overload both from home and school . How could I expect to handle the pressures of my senior year when all my energy was going toward survival. After taking the initial blame away, I could then say, “I really did the best I could with the internal and external resources I had available at the time.” Then I could take it one step further and say, “It wasn’t all bad, I did accomplish a lot despite the grim outer appearance.” And finally, I would just say, “It really is alright. Everything I experience is good because it leads me toward growth and self discovery and because of that difficult time, my capacity for love is huge!” So really, I succeeded in my goal of developing myself as a spiritual teacher.
Through this current discovery process to find the job I am wanting, the more I let go, the more I gain. I tend to be rigid in my routines and expectations for myself, and I have to remember, there really is no such thing as linear time, it is all happening at once in endless realities I am choosing at each instant of my existence, so what am I so worried about anyway. I can ALWAYS choose something better and it is NEVER to late.
At first thought, the idea of just going for it would suggest action, but the more I relearn the art of manifesting the wanted, the more I realize it is about relaxing into love and taking inspired action when it feels best to do so. And by that I mean, go about your day as you would blessing it with ease and harmony, and when you feel that delicious inkling to just do something you have been wanted to do or a sudden inspired impulse, by all means, do it! The outcome is usually joyful and exciting or just a feeling of satisfied relief. I picture it as turning around to face front, relaxing your death grip on your oars, and enjoying what is right in front of you while directing your boat with ease when necessary or when wanted. The first step though is always just relaxing already. I also see myself as a child learning to float of my back, head back, arms out, belly slightly up, and just breath…that relaxes me just thinking of it.
So that brings me back to my point. I thought I was just going for it by constantly searching on job boards and websites for something, anything I could do to take the pressure off from working full time in an office building and working on school in the evenings. Even though I still fit in minimal exercise and social activities, I was feeling extremely squeezed. So I have listened to all of my guidance and just let go. I had both a reiki and reflexology session done, along with giving up my insessant job search, and I am letting this job find me. I can breath and laugh again and it feels great. And in place of the worrying and nonproductive action, I pray, chant, meditate, and sleep.
I know my actions to be happier are creating the right energetic environment for this new opportunity. I just ran my first Broad Street race in Philly, inspired by my cousin. I could not have asked for a better outcome, with beautiful weather and a great experience. That powerful energy has led me to just buy a ticket to see my good friend in Florida, finally. And after all of that, I am just doing it and writing this blog post at 4 in the morning, finally. I hope these words inspires some positive thinking and action in whomever finds this post. I am always delighted when I gain another friend through the power of the written word, as I dream to heal, inspire, and delight through my work.
“You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.” ~ Gandhi~
“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” ~ Tony Robbins~